Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Getting Married, update 1

By the way, I am totally working Steve's plan for how to get yourself married. I remain as conflicted as ever about marriage itself, but I'm determined to try this strategy. Interestingly, every one of my friends with whom I shared the plan and almost every one of you who commented on my blog, was against this plan. Everyone has told me they don't like it, they don't think it will work and it's a bad idea for me. I'm ignoring all of you and doing it anyway. This idea of not getting exclusive with a man until I've taken my time getting to know him over a period of months is not a bad idea at all. I think way too many of us single-never-married's (especially those of us in our 30's, 40's and 50's) tend to date only one person at a time and we become exclusive with them, and start having sex with them, way too soon. Then the whole thing crashes and burns and convinces us we're cursed.

Well, maybe we are cursed, but I'm going to try to lift mine by taking my time and getting to know the men I date, for chrissake. And not eliminating any of them until we've had some damn time to actually get to know each other past the initial flush of I-can't-believe-you-just-quoted-from-my-favorite-Woody-Allen-movie.

Also, many male friends and male blog commentators made clear that if they dated a woman who followed Steve's plan (eg. asked life goal questions on first date, no sex before 3 months of dating, etc.), they'd stop dating her immediately. This only indicates to me that I have drawn a lot of not-ready-for-marriage guys into my life (and blog) so I'd better not date them.

So, onward with the big experiment that is my life. I will follow Steve's plan for getting married and see where it takes me.

Damn it.

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