Monday, May 23, 2005

Getting Married, Update 2

So, it has now been six weeks that I've been dating according to Steve's plan for how to get yourself married. The main change I've made from how I dated previously is that I now date for quite a while before making any decisions about getting exclusive. This has led me to 1) give men much more of a chance and 2) resume dating a man I really liked but with whom I had decided it would never work. So far, the guy that I've resumed dating is the only one I feel genuine interest in.

Now understand, I have NOT cut anyone off. I've dated several men lately, going on second and third dates, and I have made NO premature decisions to stop dating any of them. I have been with-holding judgment as best I can and that's quite an effort for me.

But I guess I just haven't met anyone extremely interesting to me lately and what I mean is that these men aren't funny: they don't make me laugh. Is it wrong that one of my needs is that a guy make me laugh? I go on SO many dates and while I appreciate interesting conversation and good food, if no laughter happens it feels like some crucial date chemistry is missing. Is that a harsh requirement? Am I being unreasonable? Am I being too high school? If so, I guess I'll just remain in a stunted state. I need the class clown, the wise-guy, the smart-ass. Without laughter, I just won't stick around for that long. And I have been dating some very interesting, accomplished, wonderful men. A creative brain and self-confidence goes pretty far and I have dated men like that for months, but it eventually fizzles out when I realize I'm not really having fun. I need fun.

So that's how the "getting married" experiment is going so far. The good news is that I'm learning to avoid snap judgments. And the guy and I are having a great time (he's very funny) while I delay any decision about getting exclusive until we've been dating for three to six months. That gives me time to finish dating the rest of the world first, before I decide if this guy could be my boyfriend. And I tell you, I feel like I pretty much have dated almost the entire world at this point...years of dating...like dog-paddling with no land in sight...

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