Monday, October 02, 2006

No more introductions

Things continue to go amazingly well with my new boyfriend (of almost nine months). Startlingly well. I mean, we're both startled at how happy we are with each other. I'm starting to really want my friends to know him and I want him to know my friends because he's really becoming a part of my life. This past weekend we bought a laundry hamper together.

A family wedding is coming up at the end of December and it seems like the perfect time to introduce him to my family, but I don't think I'm going to. I've just gone through this too many times: introducing my family to a boyfriend, getting them used to him, and then having to tell them that the relationship ended. It's humiliating to fail like that over and over again, especially at my age. Each time it happens I feel like I've disappointed my parents. In fact, I made a decision years ago not to introduce any more men to my family since none of my relationships ever lasts. Congratulations and well wishes are for successful people, people who manage to become a part of a married couple. Congratulations and well wishes are not for 40-year-old women who have never even been engaged.

Bob is the most important man to me in a very long time, maybe ever. But I just can't introduce him to my family without feeling like I'm setting myself up for another failure. I'm sure people can argue that my family doesn't see it that way and isn't disappointed in me at all, but it doesn't even matter what they're experiencing. I know what I'd be experiencing if I made another introduction. So I won't.

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