Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Too old to be flailing about like a recent college graduate

So! I started working full time at this restaurant in June. In June and July I made about 60% of what I need to live on, but figured it was because I was new, plus business was down. I made almost 100% of what I need to live on in August and had hope for the fall. Then I went back down to earning only 80% of what I need in September. The general manager kept saying "September is always slow, but business will pick up soon" and I wanted to believe her. But so far in October, I've earned $120 in four shifts. Earning $120 for four shifts is horrible.

After two years of working as a waitress it might be time to call this experiment a failure. And to call myself a failure as well. At the age of 40 (forty), with twenty years of work experience, I should be able to meet my basic financial needs (taking home at least $1800/month). I can't do it as a server and I'm sick of it.

But I can't imagine changing jobs AGAIN again right now, especially since my snazzy new, much better health insurance just started on Oct. 1st (yes, it's a waitressing job with health insurance!). So I'm determined to ride this job out until the spring. They say this restaurant does great business during the holidays, straight through Chinese New Year, which is in February this year. They say.

They say.

I'm feeling the way I did at Carson's Ribs where they kept telling me business would pick up, but it never did. I'm really afraid this experience is going to be the same.

Only at Nick and Tony's did I truly earn enough to live on, but I'm realizing now that that job was a gimme, a freebie, a pure luck accident because I personally knew someone who gave me that job at that wonderful, prosperous restaurant. I can't catch another break like that because I can't use that contact again and I don't have any others. It was a one-time pure luck chance and since that restaurant was sold and closed, I can't duplicate it.

My employment life is such a joke. I'm FORTY, way too old to be flailing about like a recent college graduate. Damn.

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