Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Is there an Apple expert in the house?

I bought an iPod nano today. But when I tried to plug it into my Apple laptop and install it, I got a message that says it can't be installed unless I have iTunes version 7 .

So I went on and downloaded iTunes version 7. But when I tried to install it, I got a message that says it can't be installed unless I have at least Mac OS X version 10.3.9 (my laptop has Mac OS X 10.2.8).

So I went on and downloaded Mac OS X version 10.3.9. But when I tried to install it, I got a message that says it can't be installed unless I have at least Mac OS X version 10.3.

So I went on and looked for a version of Mac OS X version 10.3 that can be accepted by my Mac OS X 10.2.8 system. But I can't find one. Now what?

Monday, November 27, 2006


I switched over to the new Beta Blogger version and I can't publish in my usual browser, which is Safari (I have an Apple). It turns out I can still publish with Internet Explorer which I also have, thank god. My suggestion is that bloggers avoid the new Beta version ( has created this new version with Google). It seems to have a lot of bugs that they are still trying to work out.

Don't Do This

I can't believe I'm doing this again. I've burnt out on waitressing and want to make another career change. Career change? Can I call it a career change when I don't really have a career? Maybe a career in changing jobs. In the past 15 years I've held jobs in five industries and I'm already tired of the fifth one. I'm actually considering trying to make my way back into office work.

I started updating my resume and realized that I've held three jobs in the past year and had four jobs in the previous five years. I'm realizing that before I apply for jobs I'd better hook up with a job agency and have them help me with my very scattered resume. I don't know why anyone would want to hire me when I obviously can't stick to anything for very long. Maybe it's time for more therapy or a different kind of therapy or a life coach or some kind of professional advisor to people with f#$%-ed up job histories. Maybe all this job-hopping indicates a serious problem I should get help with.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving

I just wanted to express my envy of everyone who has a regular job that gives you the next four days off. I remember the office-job shortened last day before the Thanksgiving break during which work ebbed and goodies were everywhere. It's so great. And then you get four days off which is such a treat...

Tonight I start my workshift at 5:30 p.m. and go until probably around 11:00 p.m. (if not later). Then I get exactly one day off before I return to work at 4:00 p.m on Friday and then work Saturday night, too. (I'm also experiencing ankle pain from the horrible shoes I have to wear for this job.)

I've just about had it with restaurant work. The romance is over.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

No death for me

Another blogger is suffering from the pain of the sudden death of her father. She's in her twenties and he died quite young. I have absolutely no way to begin to try to understand what that's like, and I wonder (again) how it's possible that almost everyone else in the world has experienced the pain of losing someone, but I (at the age of 40) never have.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Monday Charge

Big Fat Deal has posted two videos. Check out the second one. I love it. You go, girls! (But you might not want to watch it at work. If you do turn down the sound).

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Thanksgiving, Eat, Food

Could it be a national food addiction problem that leads us to eat and eat and eat until we're in pain on the day when we're supposed to be giving thanks for something? Maybe we spend a few minutes during grace focusing on what we're grateful for AND THEN WE EAT. Why? Maybe the Thanksgiving binge happens because of a collective sense of guilt for all the things we have while the rest of the planet is dying for those things (food, water, shelter). Maybe it happens because we're avoiding recognizing how starved we are for real meaning in our jobs, true intimacy in our relationships and a solid sense of our place in the world. Maybe we stuff ourselves so we'll be too preoccupied with digestion to consider the painful irony of our fat bellies and our empty souls.


Usually at this time of the year I'm sadly trying to find a place to spend Thanksgiving dinner. My yuletide tradition is angling for invitations to holiday celebrations, hoping my familied friends will notice that I have no place to go. They often don't notice or don't have the resources to invite me. I often invite myself over ("David, are you and your wife going to be having Thanksgiving in town this year? If you are, can I come over again?").

This is the first holiday season in years that I'm not doing that. This is the first Thanksgiving in my life that I will be cooking for a man. Just the two of us. To the sound of football, I'll toil in the kitchen over turkey, yams, stuffing and broccoli (I love broccoli) while he falls asleep in front of the tv. When he asks if he can do anything, I'll say, "No. Just sit down and watch the game. Do you want a beer?" I'm a 40-year-old spinster and I have never in my life prepared a Thanksgiving meal for the man I love. He never existed before. Finally he does.

So I declare a new Thanksgiving tradition for myself: cooking dinner for the man I love while he watches the game. It's isolated, it's selfish, it's stereotyped, it's dull -- and it's brand new for me.

Disappointing? Probably. I should remember where I was a year ago and throw open my doors to anyone I can think of who might need a place to celebrate our national force-feeding. But I'm not. In the same way that lonely people are disgusted by public displays of affection until we finally have a partner with whom to indulge in those displays, I used to press my nose against the windows of people with Thanksgiving loved ones but am now happy to have my own loved one with whom to draw the curtain. Maybe it's human nature to witness people's full, loving lives and feel certain no one should be allowed such happiness, until we finally touch it ourselves. Anyway, I'm grateful to be there. (Finally. At the age of 40.)

What's your (good or bad) Thanksgiving tradition?

Thursday, November 09, 2006

yeah, i'm 40...

I've been reading about this in Oprah Magazine and I'm sorry to say I'm experiencing it in real life: the mid-life weight shift and expansion of the midsection. I haven't actually gained any weight recently, yet lately I'm noticing that my pants are tighter and I'm developing even more of a "D" shape than usual when I look at myself in the mirror. AND at the same time my friends have told me in the last couple of months that I look like I'm losing weight.

What's happening is that my 122 pounds are changing location. I am getting thinner in the face, shoulders, arms and chest. My ring and watchband are looser, I'm wearing a smaller bra size and from the waist up, I look quite trim. But I'm getting extra bulges in the stomach, hips and legs. My pants and belts are tighter. There's no denying it: even without any actual weight gain, my body is changing and it's getting further away from the hourglass shape our culture reveres. I'm afraid I'm turning into a Gary-Larson-cartoon-type of thin-head-fat-stomach old person.

I'm thinking of an article that said that even women who don't gain any weight will notice that their midsections will spread as they move into their 40's and 50's. This sort of makes me feel better because it explains what I've been noticing lately and tells me that it's not my fault and there's no point in fighting nature. But it also makes me feel kind of bad because I'm never going to have that hourglass shape again (okay, I never really had it to begin with, but now there's NO hope).

I've heard that at a certain age women who work hard to stay trim and fit have to make a choice between our face and our ass. I think it's really a choice between our face and our stomach. But whatever your problem area is, the choice is that either we diet and exercise and diet and exericise until our problem area is as fat-free as possible, regardless of how much that deflates the rest of our bodies, including the face. Or we accept the reality of our thick waists/butts and leave our bodies and faces otherwise in proportion. I've heard Courtney Cox cited as an example of a woman who chose her ass over her face. I'd offer Alfre Woodard or Oprah Winfrey as women who have chosen their faces.

And now it's time for me to make the choice (oh hell, now it's time for me to make the choice!).

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Bad Haircut

It's been about 20 years since the last time I received a haircut I really didn't like. It's a horrible thing, especially when the main problem is that they cut the hair too short. Sometimes you can get a very good hairstylist to fix a bad haircut, but no one can make your hair magically grow back.

I was horrified to realize that my new haircut makes me look like Keith Partridge. I actually started singing "I Think I Love You" on the el to my boyfriend to make my point. But after hanging out with friends I realized I don't really look like Keith Partridge as much as I look like Angie Dickenson around 1972. If you don't know who that is, don't bother to ask.

So I'm pretending to be one of those women who had really short hair but is now growing it out, but it's in that in-between stage when you wear a lot of clips and barrettes and tiny pigtails. That's what I'm pretending because then I can think "It's so much longer than it used to be. In no time at all, it'll be long enough for an up do."

I never want anyone at Mirror Mirror in Chicago to touch my hair ever again.

Anyone have a bad haircut story to help me feel less alone on this one?