Friday, April 18, 2008
I feel stressed out by my continuing unemployed state. I'm still temping, but there's only a month left of that job. I've been in and out of unemployment my whole life and have never had such a hard time finding a job. It might seem good that I just got married because at least I'm not sweating the rent, but it turns out that my feelings of guilt and failure to my new husband more than take the place of the old sweating-the-rent fears. Which is worse for me: being unemployed and having no one else to lean on financially or being unemployed and dragging someone else down by my lack of earnings? I don't know. My capacity for guilt is huge. My new husband, of course, says not to worry, it's all right, everything will be fine, but my capacity for guilt is huge.