Sunday, May 09, 2010

You can't tell me death will be worse

I went to the University of California at Berkeley. I had many opportunities to not only drink alcohol, but smoke marijuana, snort cocaine and drink psychedelic mushroom tea. I did none of it. At the time I thought it was because I was afraid of addiction, descent and ending up dying in a gutter somewhere. Now I realize that I've avoided many things, not out of fear of death, but out of fear of life. I rejected opportunities to experience being drunk or high because I was afraid of the pain of living. I have, in fact, passed up many opportunities to travel, explore, love and try new things beause of that fear.

I find life uncomfortable enough without taking risks to experience more of it.

2 comments:

Obesio said...

A few years ago, I realized that almost every major and minor life decision that I'd made was dictated by crippling fear. It was, to say the least, a sobering thought.

(There is a mediocre, but amusing, Albert Brook's movie called "Defending Your Life" organized around this theme.)

Mick said...

You say you feel life uncomfortable but that may be reverse phsycology in your own mind.
In fact you may just be in your comfort zone and not want to change things.