Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Divorce feels pretty good right now

My brand new love seat and ottoman! I love ottomans.
 I am totally enjoying furnishing my new apartment! I'm getting as much stuff as possible in my favorite color: pink (rugs, cups, kitchen towels, etc). If an item doesn't come in pink, then red is my second favorite color and green is the backup. I’m not big on blue or neutral shades. I'm having a great time getting whatever I want without having to run it by anyone. Married to a guy who hates pink, I could never have gotten away with this in my former home.

Here’s a picture of the brand new loveseat and ottoman I had delivered yesterday. It’s like a dream: my sparkling single woman’s apartment is free of dog hairs, alcohol smell and coffee stains and it's going to stay that way.

The big move was Saturday, so on Sunday and Monday mornings I lay in my new bedroom and remembered how our wonderful pit bull, Ozzie, would come in to prompt me to get up, softly woofing and wagging his tail. I imagined him standing by my bed with that urgent, attentive look on his doggie face and....I felt so happy to be away from him.

No, I don't miss Ozzie (yet). I'll see that dog on Sundays and Fridays when I take care of him (for cash) and that's plenty for me. On those two days I'll walk and feed Ozzie, pet him, visit with him and then return to my dog-free home. My new place is only one mile away and my husband likes to cook, so I’m even heading back there for dinner tonight. My therapist says this is one of the most peaceful divorces she’s witnessed.

The great slamming pain of losing my marriage hasn’t hit yet although I expect it will eventually, maybe when Bob falls in love with someone else. I’m not looking forward to that, but I won’t think about it now. For now I'm focusing on making the transitions to my new home and to our new dynamic, and it's going smoothly so far. In fact, Bob and I are having about as much contact now as we did when we were living in the same place (we work almost completely opposite hours).

What do I call him if he’s not technically, legally an ex-husband yet? A would-be husband? An erstwhile husband? A semi-husband? Maybe I’ll go with post-husband. Anyone have a suggestion?


Mick said...

You could just call him "Bob".

Seriously the apartment ottoman and all looks good and you seem to be settling to your new life just great.
Take care Reg

Regina Rodriguez-Martin said...

Mick, great idea! I'll call him "Bob!" :)

But what about when someone says, "Who's Bob?" I think I'll go with "post-husband," as a nod to my snobbish Ivy League literary background.

Dave Hildebrandt said...

Here are a couple suggestions that my iPhone prevented me from making yesterday -

1) anti-fiancé
2) last husband (which has a certain durable charm)
3) detrothed (of my own coinage)
4) present husband (a certain delightful ominousness)

Respectfully submitted,

Regina Rodriguez-Martin said...

Dave, I love these! Thank you very much.

Regina Rodriguez-Martin said...

Someone also gave me "wasband."

Rudy Giuliani said...

I've been away for a while. Sorry to hear the news about your divorce. Let me know if you need anything - I'm just down the street in Evanston.

Regina Rodriguez-Martin said...

Thanks, Rudy Giuliani. Do you have a car?

Rudy Giuliani said...

Yes, of course I have a car. Actually, I love cars. Did you need a ride somewhere?

Regina Rodriguez-Martin said...

Write me at regina242424 at the website for email created by Google.

Ceece said...


Are you post-married or pre-single? Must know.


Regina Rodriguez-Martin said...

I am post-married. I will call myself a post-wife.